Shikamaru's Tears and Temari's Comforting Words
by Chouko-chan
Summary: *spoiler for episodes 79/ 80 of Naruto Shippuden* Temari goes to visit Shikamaru after Asuma's death to try and comfort him. Some Shikatema/ ShikamaruXTemari


Temari walked along the dirt road trying to reach the house at the end of it before it started getting dark. She had heard the terrible news about what had happened to Asuma and had immediately asked Gaara for permission to visit Konoha. Gaara had been very understanding and agreed to let her visit with fairly little persuasion. She had attended Asuma's funeral earlier that day and had expected to see Shikamaru there, but it seemed that he had skipped it because she hadn't been able to find him anywhere. She understood him not wanting to break down in front of everyone at the funeral. He wasn't the type of person to allow others to see him cry. She had decided to come see him at his house so that he would be under no pressure to keep up his macho façade. She knew that he must feel very broken inside because that was how she had felt when she had gone to assist in rescuing Gaara after he had been kidnapped by the Akatsuki, and arrived just to and find him lying dead on the ground. Luckily for her Gaara's death was not permanent as she knew Asuma's was. Temari looked into the sky and saw the orange and pink streaks that told her the sun was beginning to set. She was almost at Shikamaru's house now, but she still quickened her pace, anxious to see Shikamaru. When she reached the front door she knocked and did not have to wait long for it to be opened by Shikamaru's mother.

"Hello Mrs. Nara," Temari greeted her bowing her head, "Is Shikamaru home? I wanted to see how he was doing."

"He's in the backyard," Mrs. Nara answered gesturing for Temari to enter.

"Thank you," said Temari entering and following Shikamaru's mother to the back of the house. There she found Shikamaru seated on the back porch staring contemplatively up into the sky.

"Hey," said Temari giving Shikamaru a half smile and seating herself next to him on the porch. Shikamaru looked over at her his face completely devoid of emotion.

"Hey," he finally answered, "you're a long way from home."

"I heard what happened," she began feeling like she was walking on egg shells, "and I wanted to make sure…I wanted to pay my respects and…see how you were doing."

"You came all the way from Suna just for that?" asked Shikamaru raising his eyebrow, "You're not on a mission?"

"Nope, I got special permission from the Kazekage so I could visit," she explained looking up into the sky. It was darker now and though the light wasn't completely gone yet the first few stars were already visible. When he didn't reply she asked, "So how _are_ you doing?"

"Peachy," answered Shikamaru sarcastically. Temari turned toward him and studied his face for a moment.

"You know you don't have to keep it bottled up," she told him gently, "You lost someone who was important to you. It's alright to be upset."

"A man should not let others see him cry," he insisted, "especially women. A man needs to remain strong so that others can count on him."

"Being strong is one thing, but denying your feelings is something else completely," Temari argued, "I am your friend and I don't want you to fake being ok in front of me. I'm here to help you…so let me." She spoke quickly and her voice began to get louder and more intense as she continued, "I know you're not alright. How could you be? When I saw Gaara dead after he was kidnapped, or Kankuro dying after being poisoned I questioned whether I would ever be the same again. I felt something inside me break and then I just felt numb until I found out that everything was going to be alright. I was lucky and in the end I didn't lose anyone, but you have lost someone who was as close to you as my brothers are to me…so don't sit there and try to make me believe that you're alright because I know the kind of person you are, Shikamaru, and there is no way that your sensei could die without you feeling any sorrow or hurt over it!" Temari looked pleadingly at Shikamaru. She wanted nothing more than to be there for someone that she cared about in their time of need.

"Temari," Shikamaru said sounding tired, "it's not that I don't feel anything…it's more…that I choose not to feel. Accepting that Asuma is gone…would hurt too much…it would be troublesome. It's easier for now to deny that I feel anything."

"But the sooner you accept it and get through the pain the sooner you will feel whole again," Temari told him.

"I don't know what to feel," he answered looking at the ground," Part of me feels shame, like if I could have thought of a better strategy Asuma…wouldn't have to die. Part of me feels anger for the people who took him away from me…and another part…just feels hollow…as if I have a big empty hole in my chest where my heart is supposed to be…"

Temari put her hand on Shikamaru's shoulder causing him to look up at her. "There is nothing you could have done to prevent this," she assured him, "Asuma would not have blamed you for anything." Shikamaru stared into Temari's eyes for a moment then stared back into the sea of grass before them seeming to digest what she had said. He wiped his hand across his face to rid himself of his unshed tears. Temari smiled to herself.

"I've already seen you cry once you know," she reminded him, "I won't think any less of you if you need to let out everything you've bottled up."

"I was a kid back then," Shikamaru said excusing his former weakness, "and you didn't mean the same to me then as you do now."

"What do you mean?" asked Temari taken aback.

"Well, ya know…you're my friend now," he sighed. Temari got the feeling that was not what he meant at all, but she let it go for the moment.

"Come here," she instructed holding out her arms toward him.

"What?" asked Shikamaru looking at her in confusion.

"Come here," Temari repeated patiently, "Look you need to let out all the emotions trapped inside of you and if you refuse to let me see you cry then come here." Shikamaru was still unsure of what was happening, but he still obediently scooted over toward Temari until he was seated right next to her. As soon as he was close enough she enveloped him in a tight hug guiding his head to rest against her shoulder. "I can't see you now, so you can let it all out," she told him gently.

"But-" he protested bewildered.

"You don't always have to be strong, now cry!" Temari commanded him. Shikamaru put his arms around Temari's waist and hugged her tightly in return as his body began to tremble letting out his pent up sobs. At first he cried quietly, but as he let out more emotion he was no longer able to control the volume of the cries escaping his lips. He began to shake violently and Temari rubbed a hand up and down his back trying to comfort him. She rested her other hand on the back of his head and his forehead came to rest against her neck. She began to feel hot tears running down her neck which moistened spots along her collar. She felt the tears come faster and heard Shikamaru's breathing turn ragged as he continued to do as she had instructed him and 'let it all out'. He squeezed her more tightly as his body continued to quake with sobs releasing all of his stifled emotions starting with his frustration at not being able to save Asuma and ending with his sorrow at having lost a person who was like a second father to him. They stayed locked in this embrace for a while until eventually Shikamaru's breathing began to steady again and Temari could tell that he was emotionally spent. He lifted his head off of her shoulder and looked into the night sky as if noticing for the first time that it was dark out.

"It's getting late," he stated, "should you be heading back to town?"

"I can stay a little longer," she replied gently pushing his head back down onto her shoulder. She held him that way for a while in silence. She was sure that he was emotionally drained at this point and she did not feel right leaving him alone just after he had finished crying. She wanted to comfort him and let him know that she was here to support him. She didn't exactly know what to say to convey this in words, so she did as her instincts dictated and continued to hold him until he lifted his head, looked at her through red, puffy eyes, and gave her a small smile.

"Thank you," he said, "I feel a little better now…although all that crying was troublesome." Temari smiled. After hearing that she knew he would be fine.

"I'm gonna head back to town now," she told him, "I'll be there for a few more days if you want to talk again." With that she rose to her feet and to her surprise he also rose from where he was seated and walked her back to the front door. Temari started walking away but when she heard Shikamaru start to say something she turned back to hear what he had to say.

"Um…Thanks for coming to see me," he said looking down and blushing slightly, "It was good to see you."

"It was good to see you too," smiled Temari. A short silence passed before either of them spoke again.

"Well see ya," Shikamaru said waving with the back of his hand as he walked away into his dark house. Temari also turned and continued her way down the small dirt road. As she walked back to her room she stared up at the stars shining brightly above her. She was happy that she had finally been able to get Shikamaru to act how he actually felt. His macho ideals of what a man should be could be really annoying sometimes. As this thought crossed her mind she thought back to when Shikamaru said that their relationship was different now than it had been years earlier. He had said that she 'meant something different' to him now and blushed as she considered that he may have meant that she meant something _more _to him now. She smiled as she wondered what the future would bring for them thinking that their relationship might be starting to get interesting.


End file.
